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Nagging



When someone just won't let up



Nag: verb to annoy, badger, bend someone's ear, berate, breathe down someone's neck, worry, harrass, hassle, henpeck, pester, plague, provoke, scold, torment; noun a person, especially a woman, who nags



Nagging is a term used almost exclusively by men to describe women.

Most women deny they nag. They see themselves as reminding the males in their lives to do the things that must be done: household chores, taking their medication, fixing broken things and picking up their mess. Some nagging is considered constructive. Where would many men be without a woman in their lives cajoling them not to drink too much beer and eat too much fast food and, if they can't stop, to make sure they exercise and take regular cholesterol tests? Nagging might even, at certain times, keep them alive.

If men nag, however, that's viewed very differently by society. Men are not naggers. They're assertive, they're leaders, and invariably they're passing on their wisdom--and gently reminding women of the path to take if they happen to forget along the way. Sure, they criticize, find fault, moan and complain, but it's always for the woman's benefit. The repetition of their advice, like "Read the map before you set off! How many times must I tell you?" and "Can't you make more of an effort with how you look when my friends come round?" shows admirable persistence and, above all, shows that they care.

Women, similarly, feel that nagging shows that they care, but men rarely see it in the same light. A woman will chide a man about throwing wet towels on the bed, peeling off his socks and leaving them all around the house, and not remembering to take out the garbage. She knows she's being irritating, but believes the way to get through to a man is by repeating, over and over, the same instructions until they one day, hopefully, sink in. She feels the things she's complaining about are based on truth so, while she knows she's being annoying, she feels justified in continuing. A woman's female friends won't see her as nagging either--they'll see the man as lazy or hard to handle and feel nothing but sympathy for his long-suffering partner.

"The Man Song," a comedy song penned by Sean Morley and reproduced thousands of times over the Internet, was an instant hit when released. Women love it because it says that nagging can sometimes yield results; that is, men understand who's boss. Men love it because it says something they've perhaps always, secretly, known too. One of the verses starts:



The sooner you'll learn who's boss around here,

the sooner you can give me my orders dear . . .

Cause I'm head-honcho around here . . .

but it's all in my head . . .



But usually, when a woman starts repeating her orders, the male brain hears only one thing: nagging. Like a dripping tap, nagging wears away at his soul and can gradually build a simmering resentment. Men everywhere put nagging at the top of the list of their pet hates. In the USA alone, there are more than two thousand cases a year of men murdering their wives and claiming that their nagging drove them to it. In Hong Kong a husband who hit his wife on the head with a hammer, causing her brain damage, was given a reduced jail term by a judge who said he had been driven to violence by nagging.



Women's Nagging vs. Men's Moaning



Women nag; men instruct.

After reading Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps, a man who called himself "Henpecked Jeremy" sent us this email:



I need your help. I'm married to the Queen of Naggers and I...

 

Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes by Barbara Pease
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